Some guys dismiss any invitation from the NYC Opera Fanatic outright.
“With your red hair & pouty lips, you remind me too much of that Fleming woman”.
Other guys set very high standards for themselves
“Are you German?”
NYCOF: “Why, yes, I am, on my mother’s side”
“How nice for you, but can you trace your lineage back to both Elisabeth Schwarzkopf AND the Dukes of Saxony?”
Mother always warned me that men only want one thing; unfortunately, with male opera fanatics, to get a date, they usually want something other than what the NYCOF has to give
“Can you get me tickets to the Kathleen Battle recital in Odessa, Texas?” or “Can I see your list of opera recordings before I commit?”
Even if one can manage to score a date with some sexy opera fanatic, one still has to “sparkle” all evening. Alas, the NYC Opera Fanatic always seems to insert foot-in-mouth. My advice: (a) don’t drink alcohol on the date and (b) let the other opera fanatic do all the talking. Never say, as I did:
- “Who is this Marisa Galvany chick anyway?”
- “I always preferred Jan Peerce to Richard Tucker”
- “Tebaldi schamldi”
- “Do we have to sit in your apartment and watch Scotto as Elisabetta again?”
- “Should I have heard of you?” (primarily used if on date with a counter-tenor,actor or television personality)
Despite all my dating trials and tribulations, I’m not sure if I would have had any better luck dating someone who wasn’t an opera fanatic. I’ve tried it –with a baseball fanatic — a Cubs fan, no less. I didn’t miss opera-going since there was nothing more operatic than those World Series playoffs, televised of course. How civilized.
So, what was the nail in the coffin with the Cubs fan? Well, just as one cannot fake one’s opera knowledge (“I love opera. I’ve seen Phantom 5 times!“), one cannot fake sports knowledge either.
- “Do you think he’s offended by being called the Short-Stop when he’s really not that short?”
- “Oh well, honey, there’s always next year”
- “So, if a fan catches a ball is that an out too?”
- “Why don’t they just let a damn goat into the game today?”
- “You’d love opera….it’s full of curses too!”
“Ah, l’amour, l’amour. MALEDIZIONE!
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