Movies

“Julie Christie as Lara, the violent, sensual, sensitive girl” -Doctor Zhivago, Original Theatrical Trailer

Inevitably, watching Doctor Zhivago, seeing Julie Christie as Lara, or, most especially, hearing that damn theme of hers, there’s one question that I keep asking myself over and over again …

“I’m violent and sensual and sensitive too. Why don’t I have a theme? I want a theme. Why Lara? Why her? I want to be an “international hit” too. If only I had Lara’s theme, then everything would be alright.”

“What happens to a theme like that when a man like you is finished with her?”

“Interested? I give her to you - as a birthday present.”

theme

Apparently, Basque crooner Luis Mariano is what happens to a theme like this one when men like you are finished with her — and I’m so glad. I love it. Lara’s theme, finalmente mia! This is the best birthday present ever!

“Somewhere my love there will be songs to sing….”

You can take the boy out of Dallas, but you can’t take Dallas out of the boy (and believe me, I’ve tried). This opera fanatic must have his Dr. Pepper break at 10, 2 & 4 respectively, a.m and p.m., no matter what. Period. So, let’s see. It’s 4 a.m. on Saturday morning. Oops, must be that time.

“Gif me a visky, Dr. Pepper on the side, and don’ be stingy, baby.”

Oh hell. I’ll just make it myself. You may not know this but … you won’t get drunk from anything you mix with Dr. Pepper. You can’t get drunk. Something in the Dr. Pepper cancels out the alcohol … somehow. It’s the truth, I swear — and I should know. Ask Suellen Ewing if you don’t believe me. She’ll back me up.

Or better still, ask Bea Arthur.

mame

“He’ll Love It!

My sentiments exactly, and besides it’s one of the funniest lines in American musical theater (if delivered properly, of course. Don’t try at home unless you are gay, the first lady of the American theater, or a golden girl still playing with all your marbles). Seriously however, while Vera Charles comes across as a flaming homeopathic, her medical advice may actually be quite sound.

“An Excitingly Different Drink at Home, at Parties - for All your “Fun Times!”

I’ll drink to that.

“Drink It At 10, 2 And 4 For 8 Full Days -Then See How Much More You Enjoy Time Out With Dr.Pepper”

And not just with Dr. Pepper, I enjoy my time out with ALL the boys a lot more.

The Dr.Pepper diet. Well, not quite. The Dr.Pepper Picker-Upper. The Dr.Pepper Enable? Dr-Pepper-Zac?

Will my Dr. Pepper addiction finally get me on the Dr. Phil show? “Dr. Phil, I can stop anytime I want, and “no” I didn’t have a bottle of Dr. Pepper right before the show.”

Luckily for me, it’s a little harder to score the Doc up north than it was down in Texas. I hear it’s that way with a lot of things. I’d rig up my own Dr. Pepper lab but I’d get busted for patent infringement, and the fumes would probably be toxic to my cats.

Will a surprisingly informative Wikipedia entry mix with Dr. Pepper?

“He’ll Love It!”

Carol Templeton (Doris Day): Mmm. This isn’t bad, either. But what color’s that floor?
Leonard: Lilac.
Carol Templeton: Lilac? Leonard, who has a lilac floor in their kitchen?
Leonard: I have.
Carol Templeton: Oh. Well, Leonard, everyone isn’t as artistic as you are.
[Flawless Doris Double-Take]

The Gayest Movie Of 1961 — And It’s All About Straight People

Jerry Webster (Rock Hudson): No, I find him very intriguing… in a man-to-man sort of way.

Starring Doris Day, Rock Hudson, Tony Randall …and Ann B. Davis as Millie (Doris’ secretary!)

Jerry Webster (Rock): [Jerry Webster enters wearing a woman's full length mink coat]
Fred: He’s the last guy in the world I woulda’ figured.

Innuendos Abound Tonight On TCM

Boo-Hoo! Poor Doris.
Rock Hudson’s stealing all her clients!

I’m very grateful to Renee Fleming for many things, one of which is introducing me to “Song Of Love”, MGM’s late ’40’s Robert Schumann biopic starring, among others, Katharine Hepburn as Clara Schumann. [Continue reading →]

On this day in musical history … [Continue reading →]

During TCM’s Hedy Lamarr fest last night, they showed “The Lady Of The Tropics”, a rather ordinary freaky Asian-chick movie made extraordinary by the visages of its stars, Hedy Lamarr & Robert Taylor. Just when I’d given up on the script as ne plus mundane however, I got thrown a curve-ball. Sorta.

Here’s the low-down on the movie’s plot (as summarized by the highly macro-biotic Dr. Macro)

An American marries a half-French, half-Vietnamese woman, but a wealthy Oriental tries to win her over with manipulation.

Playboy Bill Carey (Robert Taylor) and heiress Dolly Harrison (Mary Taylor) arrive on a yacht in Saigon and are welcomed by Father Antoine (Ernest Cossart). They meet the rich Pierre Delaroch (Joseph Schildkraut) and half-caste Manon de Vargness (Hedy Lamarr). Pierre wants Manon, but she wants to go to Paris. Manon is denied a passport. Dolly asks for a hat, and Manon helps Bill buy one. Manon tells Pierre she is staying in Saigon but informs Bill and Nina (Gloria Franklin) she is leaving. Bill romances Manon and kisses her good-bye. On the yacht Dolly gets a note that Bill is not going with her. He finds Manon on a river boat. When Manon tells Bill she is marrying a king, he feels like a fool for escorting the bride. Bill arranges to meet her and asks her to marry. Manon tells Nina that she is marrying Bill. Pierre comes in, and Manon says that Bill went away. Pierre asks Manon to marry and insists on an answer; she says yes. Father Antoine tells Bill he does not know half of Manon. Bill and Manon are wed. Pierre complains that Manon lied to him. Bill learns that Manon can’t get a passport. Bill sends a letter to an American editor, but he gets several discouraging telegrams, mocking his Asian marriage.

Manon goes to Pierre for help, but he says Bill will leave her. Bill finds Manon selling her dresses. Bill says he won’t go and sells his watch. Instead of paying the bill, they leave the hotel. Bill looks for a job, and Manon cooks. Bill gets drunk and passes out at home. Manon tells Bill of a job at the rubber factory. Pierre ordered them to hire Bill; but he has to leave Manon behind for a month. Bill gets a letter from Manon. Pierre asks Manon to go to the opera with him, and he gives her a passport. In the opera Manon Lescaut is forgiven. Manon welcomes Bill back. Bill learns that she went to the opera with Pierre, president of the rubber company. Bill finds Pierre’s cigar case and realizes that Manon lied and that he was sent away. Bill tells Manon to go back to Pierre. Manon warns Pierre that Bill will kill him. She says she will save Bill from that and shoots Pierre. Bill hears what happened. Nina sings, hears a shot, and finds Manon dying. Manon sends Nina for Father Antoine. Bill comes to help Manon escape and says he loves her. Bill realizes that Manon is shot. Father Antoine comes in as she dies.

In this romantic tragedy, racism against Asians, the manipulation of a jealous rich man, and the lies of Manon all contribute to her self-sacrificing death in this modern variation of the 18th century novel Manon Lescaut. The naïve American is caught in this web despite his unprejudiced love, symbolizing the current American isolation from old-world politics.

Naturally, the unexpected appearance of Puccini’s Manon Lescaut piqued my interest — then frustrated it. Apparently, Louis B. Mayer was NO opera fanatic. Manon Lescaut is about a self-sacrificing as me! The movie’s fault lies in trying to make Hedy’s Manon both manipulative and sympathetic. Perhaps an actress with greater talent would have been able to bring-off what the divine Hedy cannot.

Dig deeper into the film however and it reveals a cautionary tale to which we can ALL relate — NEVER LEAVE THE OPERA BEFORE THE FAT LADY SINGS (i.e. before it’s over). A tad disturbed at seeing her own personal “l’histoire” unfolding on the operatic stage, Hedy Lescaut flees during Act 2 before the Prevostian sh** hits the fan. Had she remained for the entire opera, Manon de Vargness might have saved herself — the audience, and me — a lot of nothin. Our heroine certainly wouldn’t have been quite so keen to procure a passport to America!

After the Manon Lescaut scene, I fully expected the movie to parallel the opera. It seemed logical that it was headed that way. Manon gets busted for her frivolous ways, Robert Taylor comes to the rescue, they escape across the Mekong, only to find their destiny in the Indochinese jungle or in China at the hands of the evil Japanese (it is 1939, remember).

HEDY, PERDUTA, ABBANDONATA!

But no. Well, it should have ended that way. Must the NYCOF add director to his long resume as 21st-Century-Renaissance-Man? Am I compelled to re-make this forgotten flick… as it should have been made originally. The half-caste subplot might be a little iffy these days. Or not. Heck, our next president could be a half-caste. Oops, are we allowed to say that?

Hmmm, maybe I’ll update the action to the fall of Saigon. Starring George Clooney, Nicole Kidman (in full Katharine Hepburn “Dragonseed” regalia).

TCM’s showing Lolita tonight.

“I have been offered by Warner Bros to play in the movie of Lolita. Now I have refused to read Lolita for a long time, so at last I have been forced to try. It is well written in a curious way but exceedingly pornographic and quite disgusting. I cannot see myself playing a long, lecherous love story with a little girl of twelve. An unsavoury project if ever there was one.”

-Noel Coward, 26 April 1959

I can see Noel playing the little girl of twelve to perfection, however — simply tooooo perfection.

Just finished watching The Train on TCM. This 1964 movie was director John Frankenheimer’s first action flick. The plot revolves around Nazis trying to get a trainload of art treasures out of soon-to-be-liberated Paris while the French Resistance tries to stop that train from reaching the Fatherland.

(+) interesting plot; Jeanne Moreau, captivating as always, in a part too small for her talents; the authentic French locale is worth price of admission.

( - ) movie goes on far too long, the entire escapade gets tedious after a while; Burt Lancaster is about as convincing a Frenchman as I am.

One comes away from the movie with admiration for the French though — something we often lack here in America.

Oh, and the NYCOF got a tad weepie during the scene where the art museum curator tries to convince the Resistance to save those paintings …

Resistance leader: For certain things we take the risk, but I won’t waste lives on paintings.

Curator: They wouldn’t be wasted! Excuse me, I know that’s a terrible thing to say. But those paintings are part of France. The Germans want to take them away. They’ve taken our land, our food, they live in our houses, and now they’re trying to take our art. This beauty, this vision of life, born out of France, our special vision, our trust… we hold it in trust, don’t you see, for everyone? This is our pride, what we create and hold for the world. There are worse things to risk your life for than that.

Vive la France!

• Read another excellent review of The Train