TV

I love Suellen — she’s even more of a mess than I am, and I find that oddly empowering. [more . . . ]

The Pietà (Italian for “pity”) is a subject in Christian art depicting the Virgin Mary cradling the dead body of Jesus … As such, it is a particular form of the devotional theme of Our Lady of Sorrows, and also a scene from the Passion of Christ and is the 13th of the Stations of the Cross.-Wikipedia

The most famous Pietà is Michelangelo’s Pietà in St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. His interpretation is different from most earlier pietà … The Virgin is also unusually youthful, and in repose, rather than the older, sorrowing Mary of most pietàs -Wikipedia

“You know, you mustn’t mind if you dislike me. A mother can’t love all her children”

To give you some insight into the relationship with my maternal unit …. I look wistfully upon Livia from “I, Claudius” and wish that she was my mother. Even so, there is still much in “I, Claudius” that rings true. Strip away the Roman villa, replace it with a Texas ranch home, and insert me for Tiberius. Then, by Jove, you’ve got my senior year in high school ready to play.

mother’s day

“I, Claudius” is one of my Desert Island DVDs. I’m watching it again for the the umpteenth million time, except that this time I’ve ripped it to my computer. No more scratched discs. Hurray!

So let us celebrate ancient Roman hottie Marcellus, who doesn’t survive even one hour with Livia! I’m always a sucker for a man in a toga.

“Livia, now, was accused of having caused the death of Marcellus, because he had been preferred before her sons; but the justice of this suspicion became a matter of controversy by reason of the character both of that year and of the year following, which proved so unhealthful that great numbers perished during them. And, just as it usually happens that some sign occurs before such events, so on this occasion a wolf was caught in the city, fire and storm damaged many buildings, and the Tiber, rising, carried away the wooden bridge and made the city navigable for boats during three days.” (Dio Cassius)

LIVIA: “I shall move my room next to yours and I shall prepare all your food myself. You’ll see what dainty little things can be served up to to tempt a weak appetite”

MARCELLUS: “That’s very good of you”
LIVIA: “No, no, my dear. Goodness has nothing to do with it.”

I hope Livia at least ravished the boy before she finished him off! Alas, Robert Graves is silent on the subject. Read more about Hunky Marcellus at Wikipedia.

My father’s side of the family was NOT the musical side of the family … I repeat, was NOT. They were Church Of Christ. The most indelible memories of spending time with my father’s parents were (a) both of them telling me two different stories at the same time and (b) The Lawrence Welk Show. Yes, The Lawrence Welk Show. As much as I would like to ignore that musical variety show’s impact upon my own musical makeup, I cannot. So, forget Judy and Fred. We’ve got the celebrated Guy and Raina leading the Easter Parade this year.

Lest you get too excited, however, this is NOT Mr. & Mrs. Kabaivanska … I repeat, NOT.

Excerpted from the diaries of Noel Coward, mostly.

14 September 1955. Jamaica

“Mary and Richard arrived yesterday …..”

15 September 1955. Jamaica

“I was right about peace departing with the arrival of the Hallidays. They are both quite incredibly noisy. Richard never stops emitting shrill, whining screams for no reason at all. Mary has a naturally piercing voice, and between them both mealtimes are deafening. Otherwise they are no trouble at all and retire to bed immediately after dinner, which is wonderful. Pete [Matz] is working like a slave, orchestrating all day long while I grind out lyrics.”

22 September 1955. Jamaica

“She [Mary Martin] is a great artist within her limited scope and this scope is only limited by her lack of education and general naivety. She still remains at forty-two a tough, honest girl from Texas with a rich talent for singing songs and a rich, natural warmth …”

Editor’s Note: The same could, and surely has been said about the forty-year-old NYCOF, who, incidentally, still remains at thirty-two …on the internet.

“Mary and Pete and I have worked very, very hard, going over harmonies again and again. I feel sure the show will be good. She is wonderful to work with and the programme has much variety.”

25 September 1955. Jamaica

“Now they have gone and I have ten days of comparitive peace until I go to New York and really take the plunge.”

The Plunge

16 October 1955. New York.

“Rehearsals are going very well … She [Mary Martin] is frightened of doing the ‘Madame Butterfly’ burlesque, rightly at the moment because she isn’t doing it very well. If she suddenly decides she won’t do it we are in bad trouble because all the dialogue I have written to bind the show together depends on it!”

22 October 1955

“The atmosphere was sizzling. Masses of flowers and presents and high nervous laughter, all the usual opening night carry-on. When the moment to came to start I noticed that Mary was quivering so I gave her a sharp, loving lecture and on we went … Lynn & Alfred, Margot Fonteyn, Clifton [Webb], etc. were in the audience, but I remembered my kinescope lesson and ignored them with my eyes, though not with my ears, and sang everything slap into the cameras …”

“We just got away with ‘Butterfly’ ….”

Après Madama

“At the end of the performance chaos set in. Everybody was in a fine state of ecstatic appreciation. Clifton was in tears. Marlene called me immediately from Vegas and her voice had gone up four octaves. Telegrams arrived like confetti from all over the country. A couple of strangers rang me up from a small town in Michigan and said they had never seen anything so wonderful in their lives. Finally, when Mary and I left to go to the party at ‘21′, there was a howling mob in the street.”

24 October 1955. New York.

“Well, it is all over bar the shouting, and the shouting is louder than it ever has been in my whole career. The Press notices were unqualified raves, and it appears that, apart from being clever and pretty and wittier than anyone in this whole big wonderful world, I have also revolutionized television by proving that for two people, without support of an elaborate production, can hold for an hour and a half.”

Next Time, On Masterpiece Theatre’s Presentation
of “Christiane Amanpour’s Schooldays”
Christiane and roommate Diane Sawyer go to Manhattan for Spring Break

Another moment inspired by the timeless wit and wisdom of Designing Women

• Charlene (doing research for college paper): Suzanne, tell me what you think of Monteverdi’s l’Incoronazione di Poppea.

• Suzanne: No, and even if I wanted to, I couldn’t because I don’t know what that is.

• Mary Jo: Come on, Suzanne! You go to all those ritzy opening nights and you don’t know what l’Incoronazione di Poppea is?

• Suzanne: No, Mary Jo, I do not. I know the Twilight Zone, and the handicapped zone, but I do not know the In-Car-Or-Not-Zone!

And who’s this Poppea anyway? Somebody’s maid?

No matter how many “Who’s The Bosses” or “Ugly Bettys”, Judith Light will always be Karen to me. Travel back in the time machine with me. I’m 11. School’s out for summer. I’m hanging out with our maid Everita, watching One Life To Live, one of her many “stories”. [more . . . ]

I wonder why Father Owen Lee never told us that Antonia’s mother was really Angelique, the witch from “Dark Shadows”?

juliahoffmann.flv